A few days ago when I looked back on my blogging habit for the month I was pissed that I was almost at the end of January and I had only written for 11days of the month when the goal was to write everyday.
Then followed the guilt and the shame that I had already failed on my goal of writing a small blog post (100 words or so) everyday. Because I figured I could do it. It’s a small enough goal and I can fit it into my commuting time when all I do I waste time anyway.
I was so angry at myself for failing that I didn’t stop to think that I had written 11 blog posts more than I had written in the past 2-3 years where I had written nothing. Zero posts.
I would not have realised this unless I had seen the YouTube video by Marie Forleo channel where she’s talking to Cheryl Strayed. On a side note I seem to get lost in the YouTube rabbit hole where I watch a lot of motivational content but never did anything which added to the guilt and anger. (So many ways to punish yourself inside your head)
And in that interview Cheryl Strayed said “Only when I’m gentle with myself can I really let go and do the work” and no one can work well from a position of shame. So that resonated with me. I needed to hear that.
So I know let this be the 12th written blog post for this month and I’m okay with that now. Because I’m gonna work on it and get better.
So… (I feel like even in my writing, starting my sentences with “so..” is going to become a habit) I will continue to build the habit of writing everyday. Slowly but surely I will get there and I will work on my writing skill.
Note to Self: Self Forgiveness. Very important to remember. Be gentle with yourself. And Self shaming is not gonna help.
Remember Cinderella’s motto (the live action version) –
“One must always remember to have Courage and be Kind.”
Be kind to yourself.