What happens when you realise that you’re not a nice person.
When you realise that your actions have hurt people. And you’ve been callous with people’s feelings and emotions. Just walked right over because you wanted something and didn’t give a thought to the other person’s needs.
And this other person isn’t a stranger. It’s a loved one. A person who has stood by you through the length of time and taken all of the pain but still wanted what was best for you.
There were fights and tears and and and frustration. But you did take them for granted and were so sure that they’d be there for you no matter what you did.
And then you think about your actions after your failures and look at your flaws. And that’s the thing with faults… Once you start looking for them, you cant just stop after one. No… You see them all and how they have affected the lives of others. How your decisions and failures and cowardice affect your loved ones. What a burden you’ve been on them.
How do you take it back? You can’t. An apology is not enough. How do you show them your gratitude for sticking with you for so long. And still standing by you, watching your back.
The thing is… what they have given you is precious. No single act of gratitude could be enough to thank them for giving you a safety net. Because that’s what they did. They made you feel safe. How do you say thank you for that?
Maybe you don’t. You just give them the same gift they have given you.
Take care of yourself and stop being a burden and plus they’re just the type of nice people who just become happy if you are doing well. Makes you wonder what you did to deserve them.
Do little things for them whenever you can to provide them the sense of safety they gave you. Be there for them, for big things, little things, inconsequential tiny things.
Pay attention to them so you will learn to help them before they ask as they helped you. Time, patience and understanding… Simple words but hard to give.
I guess that’s one way to say thank-you. And I’ll be working on it from now on. Maybe I’ll figure out how to be properly grateful when I’m older.
Song: From now on by The Greatest Showman Cast.
Quote: “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” – John F. Kennedy
I think the quote said it better than I could.